April 13, 2010

My New Book is Out! BRO-JITSU!


My newest book is released today!

You can find it at Amazon.

Or buy online from my favorite neighborhood bookstore: Powell's.

Watch an awesome video by clicking here.

Inspired by growing up with my little brother -- and the physical and mental torture we inflicted on each other -- the book is called BRO-JITSU: The Martial Art of Sibling Smackdown. It categorizes all the mental and physical attacks that siblings use -- offensive, defensive, and psychological -- under a single martial art called Bro-Jitsu. Yes, this includes all the stuff you remember (fondly?) from your own childhood, such as pink bellies, dogpiles, dead arms, bloody knuckles, purple nurples (aka tune in to Tokyo), and the dreaded hanging spit fake.

I've even got the proper technique for chasing your sister with dog poop on the end of a stick. I'm nothing if not thorough, people.

And of course, don't forget the Sacred Vow of Bro-Jitsu -- never in the face.

So if you get the chance, please pick up a copy from Amazon or Barnes & Noble or your favorite book store. And share this message on to any childhood friends, brothers, sisters, or cousins who you think might be interested!


*** Oh, and just in case you aren't convinced that this is the pinnacle of my writing career, check out this sample text.

OFFENSIVE MOVE (in every sense of the word)

"Pull My Finger "

Extend your index finger and say with a straight face, “Pull my finger.” If by some cruel trick of fate your sister actually pulls your finger, immediately deliver a fart with the intensity of a sub-tropical storm. She should recoil in terror, unsure of whether you just filled your pants. If you aren’t sure either, then congratulations – you pulled this move off perfectly.

Countermove:

Back Away Slowly

When someone announces “Pull my finger,” it should be obvious that you are standing next to a trouser bomb that’s on a hair-trigger and set to explode. Raise your arms, palms out, and back away slowly. If the bomb isn’t triggered, you just might get out of this alive.