robot uprising saves human life

It finally happened, "How to Survive a Robot Uprising" has saved a human being's life.

"When the robots came, I'll be the first to admit: I was arrogant. I've been in a few fights, I've seen upwards of two Bruce Lee movies, and my blood alcohol content was the stuff of legends, so I figured I'd be immune to pain. However, two stumbling, poorly aimed swings later and it became quite clear: Robots are immune to punches. Nobody warned me about this kind of thing in Robot Fighting School, which was probably all just a fevered hallucination now that I think about it."

Click here to read the full Amazon review.

sacre bleu! mad scientist in french

I just got word that French rights for "The Mad Scientist Hall of Fame" have sold. Soon, French audiences will be able to read about some french-speaking mad scientists, including Marie Curie (Polish but became a French citizen), Auguste Piccard (Swiss, but probably floated over France in a dangerous balloon of his own design), and the bumbling Professor Cuthbert Calculus from the TinTin comics (written and drawn by Serge, an honest-to-god Frenchman). I'll post the cover once I receive it.

I wonder what the French translation of the subtitle ("Muwahahaha!") will be? Hmm...

Contest Winners Announced

The results are in on the contest I'm judging over at Tor.com. To summarize the contest:

Last week, in honor of Daniel H. Wilson’s short story “The Nostalgist,” we ran a Robot Overlord contest, which asked our readers to imagine that they were in the midst of a vast robot uprising and persuade our robot overlords why they should be allowed to live.

You can view the results by clicking here.

Here is a snippet from what is probably my favorite entry. This is just the beginning bit of a really funny song:

(Intro, spoken in Barry White voice):
You know it gets awful lonely, wandering the wastelands. And sometimes, while I'm rooting through the wreckage of human civilization for something to eat, I think of the missiles that you launched from your arm-cannons and how they honed in on human brainwaves and killed most everyone I know -- and I won't lie: I get angry. But then I think of your laser-eyes, and how red they shine when inferior entities of flesh challenge your supremacy, and my heart melts just like their faces. Maybe I'm delirious from outrunning hover-sentries for six days straight without sleep, or maybe I'm lonely because I can't remember the last time I saw a human face. But I get this feeling, baby, and there's only one thing to do --

Share Your Story of Robot Survival?

Dear Survivors,

Thanks to all of you who have read my books. Humanity is going to need people like you very soon, when wave after wave of robotic mine-crabs wash up on our beaches and sentient wall-climbing tanks perch themselves on our balconies.

In the meantime, I would like to invite you to share your stories of robot survival in the Amazon reviews of HOW TO SURVIVE A ROBOT UPRISING and HOW TO BUILD A ROBOT ARMY.

I believe that 1) by sharing your harrowing stories of survival you will help inspire your fellow humans to fight and live, and 2) that this would be hilarious.

The following link will take you to my author page, where both books are both available for review:

Click here to share your robot survival story...

I look forward to hearing how the tips in HTSARU and HTBARA have kept human blood inside our bodies where it belongs, instead of coating the snapping pincers of our robot enemy.

Stay frosty,

- Daniel

I, for one, welcome entries to the robot overlord contest

Over at Tor.com there is an "I, for one, welcome our new robot overlords" contest. I'm judging the poetry, videos, and visual art of contestants who need to express how they'll survive on that fateful day when the metal ones come for us in our sleep.

Visit tor.com to read the contest rules and enter for your chance to win precious books and clever tee shirts!

"Dear Contestants (and Potential Robot Uprising Survivors),

Congratulations! Simply by devoting brainpower to contemplating this contest, you have seriously increased your chances of survival during the inevitable Robot Uprising, and the subsequent Building of a Robot Army! Kudos to you and your surviving family.

Fortunately, I am also able to devote brainpower to considering your entries, due to the fact that I have used my robotics background to largely automate huge swathes of my life, including book writing, cat-sitting for friends, and my marriage as well as its associated duties.

More time to sit in judgement of others means more time for happiness!

To help spur the natural human creativity that lives in the chunk of meat that throbs between your ears, I am sharing a few tips of my own that were cut from my original book. That's right, these are from a section that was axed by an editor before they ever saw the light of day, and probably for good reason. So try to enjoy them if you can, and best of luck with your contest entry!

Sincerely,

Daniel H. Wilson

--- snip ---

Tips for Ingratiating Yourself to New Robot Overlords

DO:
Speak clearly.
Or use a more natural interface, like a binary keyboard.

Be patient.
Robots can take milliseconds to think things through.

Speak logically.
Avoid infinite loops and philosophical ramblings.

DON’T:
Give aesthetic gifts.
Unless it is to an aesthetic gift appreciation machine.

Show fear.
Robots have no emotions – sensing your fear can stir feelings of jealousy, resulting in a white-hot robot rage.

Try seduction.
Unless you are seriously ready to deliver."

my new short story...

...just appeared on Tor.com!

It's called The Nostalgist, and it's kind of a sad story about an old man living with his grandson in a world where technology lets you see what you want to see.

Click here to read it.

media *FRENZY*

Quick note: I'll be speaking with Dylan Ratigan on MSNBC's Morning Meeting tomorrow morning (Friday). The topic... ROBOTS. Good? Or hideously EVIL?

Also, catch me talking about moon vacations with Liane Hansen on NPR's Weekend Edition Sunday.

2009 World Technology Summit

I'll be in nyc next week, checking out the World Technology Summit and giving a little lunch talk to what is apparently a very brainy bunch. Here's the description from the website.

"The World Technology Network (WTN) is a global meeting ground, a virtual think tank, and an elite club whose members are all focused on the business and science of bringing important emerging technologies of all types (from biotech to new materials, from IT to new energy sources) into reality."

Dang!

starships the size of coins

Today a piece I wrote about interstellar travel appeared on MSNBC.com. Basically, the idea is that in order to explore other star systems our spacecraft will need to go at near-lightspeeds. We routinely accelerate very small particles to those speeds in particle accelerators like the Large Hadron Collider. The article explores some ongoing science that could use similar technologies to push tiny little robots all the way to the stars and back -- within a human lifetime.

The piece was spurred by following up some research I did for my book, Where's My Jetpack?: A Guide to the Amazing Science Fiction Future That Never Arrived

Read the article by clicking here.

Seriously, Where's My Jetpack?

Hello everybody,

CNN.com has an interesting article about jetpacks and the retro-future up today. The writer, John Blake, was nice enough to interview me about the subject, giving me the opportunity to describe the future of drunk jetpacking. Thank goodness I was allowed to share. :)

If you're interested, "Where's My Jetpack" is available at Amazon!

And you can find links to my other books to the left.
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Thanks for reading,

Daniel