Robonaut 2

Should humanoid robots be sent into outer-space with human astronauts? I chime in today on Wired Science.

uncommon goods, uprising

I've been busy writing ROBOPOCALYPSE and haven't had a chance to post in a while, but I had to point out this stunning combination of items available at uncommon goods.

It's a plush BUNKBOT doll laser burn to the face, followed by a ROBOT UPRISING chainsaw-arm sucker-punch to the gut. Get some!

carnegie science center

The Carnegie Science Center in Pittsburgh, PA is hosting me for a HOW TO BUILD A ROBOT ARMY weekend! Any mad scientist kids who live in Pittsburgh should please come out to the science center THIS WEEKEND to learn all about robots and how to build an army of them. I'm giving a talk on Friday and on Saturday about my experiences with robots and the books I've written on the subject.

Step 1: Learn about robots.
Step 2: ?
Step 3: Profit (while your massive robot army takes over the world).

Click here to learn the details

i'm at bumbershoot monday, 9/7

Next Monday, I'll be at Bumbershoot in Seattle to discuss the relative dangers of vampires versus robots with fellow NW author Kevin Emerson. It's going to be some nice vampire on robot action that you don't want to miss.

Seattle Weekly has even deemed it a recommended show!

From the article:

"Quick: In a battle between the mechanical and the eternal, who would prevail? Vampires have sharp teeth, but robots don't bleed. (Also: encased in metal.) Vampires fight (and bite) best at night, but robots have infrared vision. Local author Kevin Emerson (of the Oliver Nocturne YA fiction series) will here debate Daniel Wilson, responsible for How to Build a Robot Army and How to Survive a Robot Uprising (among other robo-centric works)."

Contest Winners Announced

The results are in on the contest I'm judging over at Tor.com. To summarize the contest:

Last week, in honor of Daniel H. Wilson’s short story “The Nostalgist,” we ran a Robot Overlord contest, which asked our readers to imagine that they were in the midst of a vast robot uprising and persuade our robot overlords why they should be allowed to live.

You can view the results by clicking here.

Here is a snippet from what is probably my favorite entry. This is just the beginning bit of a really funny song:

(Intro, spoken in Barry White voice):
You know it gets awful lonely, wandering the wastelands. And sometimes, while I'm rooting through the wreckage of human civilization for something to eat, I think of the missiles that you launched from your arm-cannons and how they honed in on human brainwaves and killed most everyone I know -- and I won't lie: I get angry. But then I think of your laser-eyes, and how red they shine when inferior entities of flesh challenge your supremacy, and my heart melts just like their faces. Maybe I'm delirious from outrunning hover-sentries for six days straight without sleep, or maybe I'm lonely because I can't remember the last time I saw a human face. But I get this feeling, baby, and there's only one thing to do --

Share Your Story of Robot Survival?

Dear Survivors,

Thanks to all of you who have read my books. Humanity is going to need people like you very soon, when wave after wave of robotic mine-crabs wash up on our beaches and sentient wall-climbing tanks perch themselves on our balconies.

In the meantime, I would like to invite you to share your stories of robot survival in the Amazon reviews of HOW TO SURVIVE A ROBOT UPRISING and HOW TO BUILD A ROBOT ARMY.

I believe that 1) by sharing your harrowing stories of survival you will help inspire your fellow humans to fight and live, and 2) that this would be hilarious.

The following link will take you to my author page, where both books are both available for review:

Click here to share your robot survival story...

I look forward to hearing how the tips in HTSARU and HTBARA have kept human blood inside our bodies where it belongs, instead of coating the snapping pincers of our robot enemy.

Stay frosty,

- Daniel

I, for one, welcome entries to the robot overlord contest

Over at Tor.com there is an "I, for one, welcome our new robot overlords" contest. I'm judging the poetry, videos, and visual art of contestants who need to express how they'll survive on that fateful day when the metal ones come for us in our sleep.

Visit tor.com to read the contest rules and enter for your chance to win precious books and clever tee shirts!

"Dear Contestants (and Potential Robot Uprising Survivors),

Congratulations! Simply by devoting brainpower to contemplating this contest, you have seriously increased your chances of survival during the inevitable Robot Uprising, and the subsequent Building of a Robot Army! Kudos to you and your surviving family.

Fortunately, I am also able to devote brainpower to considering your entries, due to the fact that I have used my robotics background to largely automate huge swathes of my life, including book writing, cat-sitting for friends, and my marriage as well as its associated duties.

More time to sit in judgement of others means more time for happiness!

To help spur the natural human creativity that lives in the chunk of meat that throbs between your ears, I am sharing a few tips of my own that were cut from my original book. That's right, these are from a section that was axed by an editor before they ever saw the light of day, and probably for good reason. So try to enjoy them if you can, and best of luck with your contest entry!

Sincerely,

Daniel H. Wilson

--- snip ---

Tips for Ingratiating Yourself to New Robot Overlords

DO:
Speak clearly.
Or use a more natural interface, like a binary keyboard.

Be patient.
Robots can take milliseconds to think things through.

Speak logically.
Avoid infinite loops and philosophical ramblings.

DON’T:
Give aesthetic gifts.
Unless it is to an aesthetic gift appreciation machine.

Show fear.
Robots have no emotions – sensing your fear can stir feelings of jealousy, resulting in a white-hot robot rage.

Try seduction.
Unless you are seriously ready to deliver."

urban outfitters

How to Build a Robot Army has finally assumed its rightful place among all the books about sex, smoking pot, and skateboarding over at Urban Outfitters. Every single time I walk into UO (there's one up the street here in Portland), I think to myself that they have a nice selection of books but they're missing one thing... ROBOTS. I guess I have that thought pretty much wherever I go, but anyway...

Visit geeksugar to vote on whether you think building a robot army is geek chic, or just plain geeky. I'm happy with either answer, honestly. Somehow I've reached a place in my life where I get pissed off if someone claims that I'm not a real geek.

great (and perplexing) press

The great press would be at the new and wonderful sci-fi blog io9.com which is running a short rundown of HOW TO BUILD A ROBOT ARMY. The article was written by the charming Annalee Newitz, a freelance writer who once called me for an interview for Popular Science. As you can see here, I'm a Popular Mechanics man myself, so I wasn't sure whether to speak to her or not, but then I'm pretty sure she tricked me with words.

The perplexing press comes from this political article in the Oregonian newspaper. About halfway into the article, the author mentions that Mitt Romney might be a robot and that everyone in Florida ought to read HOW TO SURVIVE A ROBOT UPRISING. And you know what? I couldn't agree more.

new york post

The New York Post has deemed HOW TO BUILD A ROBOT ARMY to be "required reading." You're damn skippy.

Check out the article by clicking here (about halfway down the page).

cool scifi.com story

Over at the SciFi.com website, John Joseph Adams has written a cool rundown of HOW TO BUILD A ROBOT ARMY. So check it out to see what this little green book is all about.

Dabbler.ca Review

Anybody who wants to win a copy of How to Build a Robot Army oughta visit Dabbler.ca and enter the contest. Also, read the nice review and summary!

How to Build a Robot Army

My latest book was released on December 26th -- and it's hands down my favorite book so far. I wrote it after I finished school and started writing for Popular Mechanics, so it was pretty weird to interview all those scientists as a reporter/author type of guy instead of as a fellow roboticist. I learned how to ask the hard-hitting questions, like "Could a great white shark defeat that Alvin underwater robot? Huh? Could it! Answer the question, ma'am!"

Anyway, the first review of the book is in over at the Agony Column.

First the short quote:

'How to Build a Robot Army' is pretty hard to put down.

Now the long quote:

There's nobody doing anything quite like Dr. Daniel H. Wilson, and he continues his collaboration with illustrator Richard Horne in 'How to Build a Robot Army : Tips On Defending Planet Earth Against Alien Invaders, Ninjas and Zombies' (Bloomsbury ; January 2008 ; $13.95). Combining straight-faced goofy humor, a bit of hard science speculation, out-and-out media-based science fiction and highly-stylized illustrations, these books pretend to be guides to one thing when they're really guides to something rather different.