Want to Survive the Robot Apocalypse?

He looks friendly enough. Right?

Visit the Wandake blog to check out your required reading. Remember: Survivors come prepared!

Click here to read

Robonaut 2

Should humanoid robots be sent into outer-space with human astronauts? I chime in today on Wired Science.

uncommon goods, uprising

I've been busy writing ROBOPOCALYPSE and haven't had a chance to post in a while, but I had to point out this stunning combination of items available at uncommon goods.

It's a plush BUNKBOT doll laser burn to the face, followed by a ROBOT UPRISING chainsaw-arm sucker-punch to the gut. Get some!

Bruce Willis + Robots = !!!

A new movie called Surrogates is coming out, in which pale, dumpy human beings lay around at home, controlling better-looking robot versions of themselves. It's all good fun and it's based on the idea of tele-presence, which is a real technology.

CNN.com interviewed me for an an article about it, so click it and read on...

carnegie science center

The Carnegie Science Center in Pittsburgh, PA is hosting me for a HOW TO BUILD A ROBOT ARMY weekend! Any mad scientist kids who live in Pittsburgh should please come out to the science center THIS WEEKEND to learn all about robots and how to build an army of them. I'm giving a talk on Friday and on Saturday about my experiences with robots and the books I've written on the subject.

Step 1: Learn about robots.
Step 2: ?
Step 3: Profit (while your massive robot army takes over the world).

Click here to learn the details

i'm at bumbershoot monday, 9/7

Next Monday, I'll be at Bumbershoot in Seattle to discuss the relative dangers of vampires versus robots with fellow NW author Kevin Emerson. It's going to be some nice vampire on robot action that you don't want to miss.

Seattle Weekly has even deemed it a recommended show!

From the article:

"Quick: In a battle between the mechanical and the eternal, who would prevail? Vampires have sharp teeth, but robots don't bleed. (Also: encased in metal.) Vampires fight (and bite) best at night, but robots have infrared vision. Local author Kevin Emerson (of the Oliver Nocturne YA fiction series) will here debate Daniel Wilson, responsible for How to Build a Robot Army and How to Survive a Robot Uprising (among other robo-centric works)."

robot uprising saves human life

It finally happened, "How to Survive a Robot Uprising" has saved a human being's life.

"When the robots came, I'll be the first to admit: I was arrogant. I've been in a few fights, I've seen upwards of two Bruce Lee movies, and my blood alcohol content was the stuff of legends, so I figured I'd be immune to pain. However, two stumbling, poorly aimed swings later and it became quite clear: Robots are immune to punches. Nobody warned me about this kind of thing in Robot Fighting School, which was probably all just a fevered hallucination now that I think about it."

Click here to read the full Amazon review.

Contest Winners Announced

The results are in on the contest I'm judging over at Tor.com. To summarize the contest:

Last week, in honor of Daniel H. Wilson’s short story “The Nostalgist,” we ran a Robot Overlord contest, which asked our readers to imagine that they were in the midst of a vast robot uprising and persuade our robot overlords why they should be allowed to live.

You can view the results by clicking here.

Here is a snippet from what is probably my favorite entry. This is just the beginning bit of a really funny song:

(Intro, spoken in Barry White voice):
You know it gets awful lonely, wandering the wastelands. And sometimes, while I'm rooting through the wreckage of human civilization for something to eat, I think of the missiles that you launched from your arm-cannons and how they honed in on human brainwaves and killed most everyone I know -- and I won't lie: I get angry. But then I think of your laser-eyes, and how red they shine when inferior entities of flesh challenge your supremacy, and my heart melts just like their faces. Maybe I'm delirious from outrunning hover-sentries for six days straight without sleep, or maybe I'm lonely because I can't remember the last time I saw a human face. But I get this feeling, baby, and there's only one thing to do --

Share Your Story of Robot Survival?

Dear Survivors,

Thanks to all of you who have read my books. Humanity is going to need people like you very soon, when wave after wave of robotic mine-crabs wash up on our beaches and sentient wall-climbing tanks perch themselves on our balconies.

In the meantime, I would like to invite you to share your stories of robot survival in the Amazon reviews of HOW TO SURVIVE A ROBOT UPRISING and HOW TO BUILD A ROBOT ARMY.

I believe that 1) by sharing your harrowing stories of survival you will help inspire your fellow humans to fight and live, and 2) that this would be hilarious.

The following link will take you to my author page, where both books are both available for review:

Click here to share your robot survival story...

I look forward to hearing how the tips in HTSARU and HTBARA have kept human blood inside our bodies where it belongs, instead of coating the snapping pincers of our robot enemy.

Stay frosty,

- Daniel

I, for one, welcome entries to the robot overlord contest

Over at Tor.com there is an "I, for one, welcome our new robot overlords" contest. I'm judging the poetry, videos, and visual art of contestants who need to express how they'll survive on that fateful day when the metal ones come for us in our sleep.

Visit tor.com to read the contest rules and enter for your chance to win precious books and clever tee shirts!

"Dear Contestants (and Potential Robot Uprising Survivors),

Congratulations! Simply by devoting brainpower to contemplating this contest, you have seriously increased your chances of survival during the inevitable Robot Uprising, and the subsequent Building of a Robot Army! Kudos to you and your surviving family.

Fortunately, I am also able to devote brainpower to considering your entries, due to the fact that I have used my robotics background to largely automate huge swathes of my life, including book writing, cat-sitting for friends, and my marriage as well as its associated duties.

More time to sit in judgement of others means more time for happiness!

To help spur the natural human creativity that lives in the chunk of meat that throbs between your ears, I am sharing a few tips of my own that were cut from my original book. That's right, these are from a section that was axed by an editor before they ever saw the light of day, and probably for good reason. So try to enjoy them if you can, and best of luck with your contest entry!

Sincerely,

Daniel H. Wilson

--- snip ---

Tips for Ingratiating Yourself to New Robot Overlords

DO:
Speak clearly.
Or use a more natural interface, like a binary keyboard.

Be patient.
Robots can take milliseconds to think things through.

Speak logically.
Avoid infinite loops and philosophical ramblings.

DON’T:
Give aesthetic gifts.
Unless it is to an aesthetic gift appreciation machine.

Show fear.
Robots have no emotions – sensing your fear can stir feelings of jealousy, resulting in a white-hot robot rage.

Try seduction.
Unless you are seriously ready to deliver."

media *FRENZY*

Quick note: I'll be speaking with Dylan Ratigan on MSNBC's Morning Meeting tomorrow morning (Friday). The topic... ROBOTS. Good? Or hideously EVIL?

Also, catch me talking about moon vacations with Liane Hansen on NPR's Weekend Edition Sunday.

robot uprising t-shirts, only $9 bucks

If pop culture has taught us anything, it is that someday mankind must face and destroy the growing robot menace.

Help ensure the survival of humanity by clicking here to pick out your new "HOW TO SURVIVE A ROBOT UPRISING" t-shirt!

Do it for the babies and kitties. ;)

OTHER TRANSLATIONS

I was thinking about it, and decided to scan the covers of some of the foreign-language editions of HOW TO SURVIVE A ROBOT UPRISING. These are Chinese, Thai, and Polish -- I think? Anyway, they're all beautiful -- especially the super-sparkle-version of the homicidal cover robot.

(You can click on the images to enlarge them...)

ROBOT UPRISING IN CHINESE

A mysterious package arrived a few days ago. Postmarked from Taiwan, the little cardboard box was stuffed with foreign newspapers (mostly manga comics, actually) and deep inside was a solidly-packed cube of eerily familiar books. Turns out, How to Survive a Robot Uprising has been translated into Chinese. And you might notice that the cover has had a seriously marvelous upgrade. Neat!

Robot Uprising Movie... still limping along!

The LA Times interviewed Tom Lennon and Ben Garant -- the two very talented (and busy) screenwriters who are working on adapting How to Survive a Robot Uprising for Paramount. According to this LA Times story the guys are still working on what I like to call "my movie." Exciting -- it's just too bad that I'll be in my thirties before it comes out.
:)

Interview with Art Bell (Coast to Coast AM)

This Sunday night from 11PM until 2AM I am going to be holed up in a Motel Six. There can be only sordid reasons for a three hour hotel stay, and this is one of them -- I'll be using the motel room landline for a three hour interview with Art Bell and Coast to Coast AM about jetpacks, killer robots, and.. buh buh buh... SCIENCE. From the producer:

"Coast to Coast AM" is the largest overnight talk radio show in the U.S., airing nationwide on 500 affiliates. The show is the number one rated show in most markets with overwhelming market share.

Although we cover news stories and hard science when the events warrant our attention, we do not close the door on ideas that run counter to conventional wisdom. We have Ivy League professors on the show as well as people who claim to have seen ghosts and aliens.

This is going to be fun. Clearly.

Robot Hall of Fame - The Jury

Killer. I just joined the jury of the Robot Hall of Fame. This means that I'm joining Arthur C. Clarke, Rod Brooks, Steve Wozniak, Anthony Daniels (he's C3PO!) and a passel of other very impressive folks (see them at the jury page) to select the 2007 inductees to the RHOF.

Do you think I could get a consensus on Vicki the robot girl from the 1980s sitcom, Small Wonder? Yeah, probably not.

54,000 hits on Google Video?

That's a lot of internet people sitting around watching this forty minute video of one of my very first book talks. This was way back in 2005 when I had *just* finished school and it was in front of a group of brainy Google employees. I'm terrified that so many people have now seen it...

Google video series

New York Times: Where the hell is Mike Myers?

Dear Ed Leibowitz,

Thank you very much for writing the informative article, "Mike Myers: Intentional Man of Mystery." Your piece had a very clever title. However, why did you have to call my book "obscure?" Why not something equally accurate but better? Like "shiny?" In any case, my goofy book about robot uprisings was featured in the science section of the NYT earlier this year. That piece was written by Cornelia Dean. For your information, I like Cornelia better than I like you. Wait, that doesn't feel fair. I guess I like you too, Ed.

Sincerely,

Daniel H. Wilson

Wireless Catalog

The people at the Wireless Catalog are marketing geniuses -- if I do say so myself. And I do. They are selling HOW TO SURVIVE A ROBOT UPRISING alongside a toy robot that is moderately threatening (claw hands) and extremely useful (doubles as a pencil sharpener). Pretty neat!

Click here for pencil sharpening robot goodness.